My relationship with Fitness and Dieting

So many of my friends know me as Traci the Trainer and or the Food Nazi, haha.  I have been a part of the fitness industry for about 4 years now.  I competed in 2008, 2009 and 2010.  Bringing home a trophy at every show I competed in.  I always worked very hard to bring my very best package to each contest.  I loved competing.  The show prep was always fun and I actually enjoyed walking around with a ziplock bag of chicken and raw spinach for all to see me eat.  I loved being in the gym and people noticing me work hard and commenting on my physique.  It was gratitude for me at the time.  I was always looking for the next greatest thing coming out.  The next best preworkout or protein shake or cutest workout outfit.  It honestly consumed me.  I was always online looking at the top competitors and their physique wondering how I could make my body look just like theirs.  In the mean time.... My emotional and my physical body was in this whirlwind that I had no idea would finally stop spinning and crash.  I honestly thought I was doing it all right.  I thought I ate healthier than anyone around but little did I know the damage I was doing to my adrenal glands and thyroid. 

I have really stepped back from the fitness industry due to negative affect it was having on me.  I was turned off every time I went on facebook and saw post after post of these girls taking daily pictures of their abs and going on and on about their cardio sessions and complaining about not getting sweets.  I was thinking why in the hell are you doing this if you are so miserable!  I began looking for more positive influences and realizing what this whole obsessive behavior was doing to me and seeing it live and in action with all these other girls.  I see its alot about attention and selfishness.  Why would anyone want haters to be their motivators? To me that is terrible.  That is not spreading positive energy.  I saw then I wanted as far away from this as I could get.  I love being healthy inside and out.  I love to be lean and fit but not at the cost of my health or at being a selfish obsessive person.

I have turned to those people who feed me spiritually and send positive energy out into the universe.  My fitness is still priority but if I miss a meal or workout it is ok and I am not going to stress about it and post my every movement on facebook for people to know about.  My private life is mine.  My abs are mine and so are my cardio sessions.  

I am walking away with a spirit renewed and working towards repairing my physical body.  I am glad I went through the experience.  I believe that I have more awareness regarding working out and dieting.  I strive to be selfLESS and positive.

I continue my mission connecting my personality to my soul.